What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

A new COVID variant is spreading across California. Could we see a summer surge? - Sacramento Bee

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Antarctic detector picks up signals that defy all known laws of particle physics - Interesting Engineering

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Android 16's new beta makes changing call settings easier - Android Police

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Popular chicken chain shares, massive expansion plan - TheStreet

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

TEXT:

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Alex Cooper Alleges She Was Sexually Harassed by College Soccer Coach - Variety

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

An 'invisible threat': Swarm of hidden 'city killer' asteroids around Venus could one day collide with Earth, simulations show - Live Science

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Twins reinstate Byron Buxton from concussion injured list - Sports Illustrated

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What do teens do at night?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

This Powerful Airplane Engine Has Been Around For Over 70 Years & Is Still Used Today - SlashGear

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why cant a narcissist admit when they are wrong?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I vibrated my dogs shock collar while it was eating my other dog’s food and now it won’t eat. How do I fix this problem?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority